Christmas is a time for public service announcements

Last Tuesday my Year 9 English class was lucky enough to head off to St Pats to move the contents of a library out in preparation for renovation (exciting times). Outside the library all the little kids were preparing for the nativity scene (with carols!). I managed to annoy all the teachers by pushing a trolley around piled with books, which distracted all the children during 'Holy Night'. Good times.

Anyway, we all gave up on the books and sat down to watch the kids, and one classmate said that they think Christmas should be a time to warn everyone about the dangers of unsafe sex. After we all told her we had no idea what she was talking about, she explained that the whole story about Mary is basically about covering up an unwanted pregnancy, and that you should always plan your births or people might just go on about it for 2000 years.

This idea evolved into the whole message of stranger danger; Santa Claus is the creepy, old, paedophile figure. Somewhat ironically, the kids then started singing 'Santa Claus is Coming to Town', which seemed only to emphasise the message. The lyrics are incredibly creepy when put in the context of an child molester:

Oh! You better watch out,
You better not cry,
You better not pout,
I'm telling you why:

Santa Claus is coming to town!

He's making a list,
He's checking it twice,
He's gonna find out
who's naughty or nice.

Santa Claus is coming to town!

He sees you when you're sleeping,
He knows when you're awake.
He knows when you've been bad or good,
So be good for goodness sake!

Anyway, I suppose that's just what we do when we're bored.

In other news, all the Christmas decorations are up. How wonderful. Here are some photos:

Click to see it bigger!

Click to see it bigger!

More will come when I get back on my normal computer/take some more.

Also, I'm really annoyed with sunburn now. It's quite painful. The five hours swimming was totally worth it, though. Someone had an underwater camera, so I might have photos from that in a bit. I know you're all super excited to see those.

In memory of the wondrous art of pre-emptive gluing,
Nick.

Summer is Here

I can see the joy on all your faces.

The Tree of Eternal Wisdom has grown a incredibly large amount of leaves in an incredibly short of time because it wanted to. It can do that, see. Someone has also put up a few Christmas decorations, which I'm sure you all just love. What a wonderful tree.

Anyway, the exams are over, school is a bludge, Christmas is coming round and everyone has given up at trying at anything (even me with this blog). TV has gone downhill since the ratings period ended (except for The Office; that was a good move), and all the ads are incredibly terrible. Especially BCF. I hate BCF. Fuck off, BCF. It has made the list of places/products/services which I'll never go to/buy/employ the use of because of terrible ads. Rivers is another one. As is Continental cup-a-soups.

A quick Google search reveals that other people on the internet share my views. One person summed it up nicely:

Haha – aren't they classic. I think by targeting various smaller groups (and some larger like the HT lovers here) they have collectively alienated their entire customer base.

There is even a Facebook group on the matter. Although it only has 41 fans.

I put up the Christmas decorations today, all by myself (aren't I special!?). We haven't got a Christmas tree yet, though. Everywhere seems to think that if you buy one now IT WILL DIE. Whereas if you buy next Wednesday (when they're getting their stock of trees in), it'll be fine. I do not follow this logic. Apart from that, everything is looking pretty Christmassy, and I'll be taking some photos with my wonderful DSLR for you ALL to enjoy. Soon enough.

Today was a super exciting day: things started well with Christmas shopping (I managed to find one present!), then I got a haircut (I didn't really get as much cut off as I'd wanted), then I was lucky enough to go to the Mirador Christmas Party, which was rocking. Lots of drugs for all the old people there. Good  for them.

I am sure you are all super keen to hear Part Three is the series surrounding the adventures of my knee, which was promised to arrive on December 3rd. Well, basically, mum said that it's not going to warrant surgery, so there's no point going to see a surgeon. I was rather disappointed.

Anyway, that about sums things up for now. The skies outside are dark; I am hoping for much rain. Hope with me. Oh, the countdown has also begun to Project 365. How exciting. I'll have to design a nice background for that blog, too.

In memory of the wondrous art of pre-emptive gluing,
Nick.